Thailand Notes Part 2: Chiang Mai to Mae Hong Son

Motorcycle fever had gripped me and made it easy for Natalie to talk me into the trip north to do a week long ride called The Mao Hong Son Loop. A very short version of this story found its way into Motocycle Mojo Magazine.

After much research, we rented our bikes from two different shops. Mine, from a larger shop that carried full size motorcycles with manual transmissions and the others rented scooters, Natalie and Willy rented “semi automatics” which were essentially clutch-less manuals. Courtney rented a true automatic. We agreed to pick up the bikes in the morning. That night we went to a very crowded street market, I felt very claustrophobic and was annoyed to see some of the items I bought at The Silk Factory in Bangkok were for sale for a fraction of what I paid. The food smelled delicious but I didn’t dare risk being sick the next morning. That night I also read up on common scams from rental agencies. The most predominant seemed to be trying to get you to pay for pre-existing damage.

When we got started the morning, I had brief moment of being everyone’s dad and somewhat forced everyone to get a full-face helmet. Thailand is littered with road-rashed tourists and I was hoping to not add to that demographic. All the rental shop helmets had some kind of damage on them ranging from scratches to full splits down the middle, which made for excellent visuals during my presentation. No one else seemed worried about that. We picked up the other’s bikes first, and Natalie was so uncomfortable, she asked me to drive the bike back to the hostel with her as a passenger. That was a nerve-wracking endeavor, she wore a helmet and I had a ballcap. It wasn’t rush hour, but there was definitely more traffic than I wanted to deal with. In my life, I have done some questionable things on motorized equipment, but that one made me the most nervous.

Once back at the hostel, I packed my bag, a 30L waterproof stuff sack, and picked up my bike. The only helmet they had that fit me, and had a visor in good enough shape to see through, had a big doobie on each side and “420” on the back. I found it funny but a little annoying. To avoid getting scammed, again, I took dozens of pictures of my rental bike and a video, when I left, the owner was well aware of every scratch. Once we all met up with our rides, we realized Courtney and I had the only bikes with phone mounts so I asked her to lead so I could bring up the rear. We were finally on the road at 3pm, which annoyed me greatly. Traffic out of the city was bad and Natalie was unfamiliar with bikes so her and I went slower than Will and Courtney. Somewhere deep in my memory, from an unknown source, was a belief that the most capable rider should bring up the rear. Sadly for our group, that was me, but I didn’t mind going slow and seeing the sights.

My Honda 300. I have almost purchased this same model at home several times.

The only thing of note on the highway was a very large reclining buddha statue on the side of the road. A ways out of the city, we got separated enough that Natalie and I stopped at a run down shop for water and to contact the others ahead of us. Natalie ordered the fried chicken, looking at the state of the place, she will never have to prover her bravery to me. Though it did look crisp. We regrouped but the park we wanted to drive through was closed, we detoured to the town of Hot, the name felt appropriate given the absolute heat of northern Thailand. Courtney picked a hostel for us, and it was an absolute winner. It was little two bed cabins, with attached bathrooms and AC for 400 baht each. Will and I shared a room and I mused at the thought that I was paying $8 cad a night. We walked along the street and found a vendor selling noodles, this was my first Thai street food experience. It had, I believe, pork and fish balls in it (though I am not sure what part of the fish is the ball and I intentionally don’t think about what part of the pork that is), it was good and filling and cost 40 baht ($1.60). We went back to the hotel and sat chatting in the girls’ cabin, the power had gone out and we debated how to pass the time. Someone suggested cards. With nothing better to do, I walked to the corner store and purchased a deck, not realizing they were 375 baht ($15!). They are nice cards, heavy waterproof plastic and in a nice case, but that still pretty steep. By the time I got back, the power was back on and no one was interested in cards now that we had TV and internet. I went to bed thinking about how much nicer the roads in Thailand were than the roads in Nepal. I was also somewhat grumpy about the heat and our late start, I reminded myself that I am on vacation and shouldn’t worry so much about clocks. 

We left Hot at the crack of noon. I was a bit frustrated to leave so late. From there we went on a very winding road and stopped at a temple but it wasn’t open to visitors. It was still interesting to drive up to it through the main gate and see the architecture. From there we went to Bo Kaio Pine Tree Garden. It was a nice forest walk, a smooth dirt track through well spaced conifers like we had driven through in Nepal. We also witnessed a bride and groom getting their photos taken. As we headed back to our bikes, it began to rain. We drove to a nearby restaurant and had dinner. It was chicken and rice on cheap plastic plates, and cups that didn’t look clean to me. I asked for the bathroom and got a lot of confusion and pointing and was eventually sent out back to an unlit outhouse with a squat toilet. The rain eased and we continued our trip.

I had seen so many temples that I dont know which one this is.
Frolicking in the pine woods.
Note the helmet. Natalie in background.

Unfortunately, the rain came back even stronger, we were thoroughly soaked by the time we found a roadside shelter to stop at. After a long wait, it became clear the rain wasn’t stopping and it was now getting dark out. We packed our gear as best we could to avoid damage to electronics. I put my phone in a bag in my pocket and let the mapping app guide me via my headphones, Courtney did the same. Within a mile of leaving our shelter, we passed an overturned semi truck. We slowly snaked around it, it served as a reminder that this was real and dangerous, up to this point, in my mind, it was just uncomfortable. We continued on, driving as a team. Courtney was leading and would give hand signals showing when to pass slow traffic and when to turn. It felt so coordinated, high stakes, and the quiet concentration made it feel somewhat clandestine. It felt like we were a team sneaking into town. Looking back, it reminded me of being a boy and playing soldiers with the neighborhood kids. The rain slowed and stopped as we came into town. The residual heat in the pavement dried the water off in minutes. The steam filled the air like a fog. It was the closest I had been to cool since I had entered the country (both temperature and otherwise). We wove through back roads to find a hotel Courtney had picked before we left. Unfortunately, it was hard to find and when we did get there, it was full. She quickly picked another and headed toward it. We rounded a corner and suddenly I was driving on a main road lined with vertical lights, there were hundreds, all about 4 feet tall, like a vertical fluorescent bulb. They lit the road in an interesting effect and the steam from the rain made it look like a dream or maybe a rave. I could have driven back and forth for hours. We got to our new hotel, a white stone building, we parked along the street and went in to check availability. The place had no guests and the woman at the front had to call the owner to come in. He was excited and rented us dorm beds and told us to bring our bikes in off the street. As we backed our bikes from the curb and pulled into the court yard, Natalie dropped hers. I think it was just a result of the low speed and perhaps tired from the days riding. I lifted it back up for her. We parked in the courtyard out front and he closed gate to the street. We all had showers and gave our wet clothes for laundry. I spent the evening in a long sleeve shirt, underpants, and a towel around my waist. I guess only a single pair of jeans wasn’t a great strategy, but at least they got a wash. We sat outside and ordered food from the attached restaurant. We ate a variety, mostly fried, and drank sodas. We stayed up late eating, drinking, and telling stories and I went to sleep happy. This was the best slumber party I had ever been to and the days riding in the rain was a real team building exercise. Before this we were friendly, after this we were friends.

Waiting under shelter during the rain. Myself (left), Natalie (middle), and Willy (right).
Our bikes parked in the courtyard.

I woke up feeling terribly ill. Likely a result of supper the night before. After several trips to the washroom, I dosed myself with anti-diarrhea meds and hoped for the best. I bought toast with jam from the restaurant attached to the hostel, it was outright nasty. The bread was yellow and had a sour tang to it, it reminded me of bread I had in Colombia years before. To me, it tasted like it was made with rancid butter, but that cant possibly be accurate. Throwing the bread in the trash, I forced down a granola bar that had been rattling around in my bag and we headed to a café to get breakfast for the others. After a rather lengthy ordering and eating process we hit the winding road again.

The ride was really getting exciting, these curves are what the trip is known for and Thailand’s climate allows for road surfaces to stay nice. Natalie and I stopped for gas and found an odd self serve station. It was a small pump, inset on a wall on the side of the street. I put the nozzle into my tank, loaded my cash in like a vending machine and hit the green button. Immediately the gas started flowing and a little tune played. I was glad I had the nozzle in already, the handle did nothing to stop or start the flow, that could have been a disaster. I declined lunch that day as I still was not well. We rolled into the city of Mao Hong Son around 6pm and had no rain that day. We checked into a nice hotel with a pool in the courtyard. Courney and I went for a swim while Will and Natalie sat by the pool. Somehow a joke came up about Natalie and I doing the lift from Dirty Dancing. We never actually got to try it, until a year later in Guatemala. After the pool we went off in search of food. I was positively starving, and Thai food was getting the best of me. I requested that we go for western food, and somehow the few places that sold it were all closed. I was getting very down and outright frustrated, I was in that stage of hunger where I no longer felt hungry, and just felt grumpy. We eventually found a little restaurant and I had some kind of spicy rice-based dish. It was good but I could barely eat it. I went back to the hotel long before the others and relaxed. Truth be told, I was having fun overall, but in that moment I just wasn’t feeling it. Luckily we still had a few more days of riding to enjoy so I didn’t have to end on that note.

A pond full of fish across the road from out hotel.

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Thailand Notes Part 1: Scammed in Bangkok and Cooked on a Train

I flew to Thailand with very little research and absolutely no guide book. Something I had never done before. This whole trip was a big whim and I had no idea what to expect, it was exciting and scary to think about.

Bangkok

I flew into Bangkok without a plan or clue. The hostel I had booked was dorm style, I wasn’t looking forward to shared accommodations, but private room prices were outright wild. In the airport an official scolded me for having an Ushuaia stamp in my passport she warned “this is for official stamps only” and waved me along. I had gotten the stamp at the tourist center in the town of Ushuaia in 2016 and no one said anything about it until now.  As I walked out of the airport, I was shocked by the heat, and the cleanliness, of the city. It was a long cab ride to the hostel and the entire time I marveled at the smooth roads. Going from the infrastructure of Nepal to that of Thailand felt like being hurled into the future, it was a bit of a shock.

The next day I could barely leave the hostel, the heat was so extreme. I would walk building to building, refreshing in the air conditioning. In my travels, I spotted a gun shop. I went to walk in to see how they compared to Canadas. Before I could get a single foot in the door, an old lady shooed me out. It was then I spotted the sign on the door “no tourists, no pictures”. I kept walking and suddenly discovered dozens of gun shops all with the same stickers and equally welcoming. I even saw a street vendor selling accessories, I thought some wood grips for my 1911 would be a neat souvenir but he wouldn’t even look at me, never mind sell to me. I laughed at the fact that I had officially been kicked out of a gun store. That evening, I went to Kao San Road and was thoroughly disgusted. It was a short walk from my hostel and it was everything Thailand had to offer sleazy tourists… bars, “massage” parlors, laughing gas, grilled alligator, knockoff clothes, and drugs. There were also old men walking around asking people if they wanted to see a “ping pong show” and making a popping noise with their mouths… I didn’t spend much time there, it wasn’t my scene. 

On my last day in Bangkok, I got scammed. I was walking around, bogged by the heat, and waiting for the streetlight to change so I could cross the road. A man said “in Thailand, we just cross, like this” and walked with me across the street. I thanked him and kept walking. He then kept pace and asked me about myself and what I was doing etc. He then claimed to be some sort of tourism board something or other and had suggested I see some temples and a silk factory. I said that sounded nice, and he wrote their names down. He also said the silk factory usually only exports but for a few days a year they do local sales.. I wasn’t interested in buying anything but I was curious how a silk factory worked. He told me most tuk tuks would take me for 100 baht to all 3. He then waved one down on the road and chatted with the driver, then turned to me and said “he will take you”. So I hopped in, thinking it was odd but some temples would be nice. The man drove like a maniac, I had no idea these little 3-wheelers could go so fast. We went to the first temple, The Happy Buddha Temple. It was small and somewhat unpopular, but I went in to see. There, a man was praying and started talking to me. He asked what I was up to, I told him and he said he really liked the silk factory, that it was where he bought his suits from for business trips. The driver took me to the next stop, the silk factory… instead of a factory tour, it was just a sales pitch, which wasn’t shocking, I figured they just had all the tuk tuk guys on some kind of consignment. I politely declined the salesman’s offer to have several custom suits made… Shockingly, I am not a suit guy, and I didn’t feel like stuffing 6 of them into my backpack. As I was leaving, he asked if I needed anything for gifts, I looked around and picked out a tie set for my brother and a silk kimono for my dad, he then said he could do a custom dress shirt for me since I was buying something. I said sure, I went with a dark green linen material in a long sleeve button up. The salesman asked for my hotel and said he would have them delivered that evening, all in I spent about $180 cad. Our next stop was a temple complex, beautifully built and maintained. I wandered the ground and took some pictures and was ready to leave.

The tuk tuk driver suggested a trip to the docks, he had a friend who could take me out on a boat, I declined because my stomach was upset and I had had enough heat. I went back to my hostel and relaxed. As 5pm approached, I went downstairs and asked the hostel staff if any parcels had come for me and then explained my day. The woman looked at me worried and said “how much did you give them?”… then proceeded to explain there are lots of scammers. I looked online and googled the shop, it turns out everything about that day was a setup, the man walking, the tuk tuk, the man at the temple, all of it. They also run another scam, which is they take you out on a boat and refuse to come back to land until you pay the driver off. It sounds like I almost got the boat scam too. Reading online, it looks like people were scammed into slightly over paying for suits, usually multiple suits. I guess its harder to get scammed when you are cheap. I had paid by credit card and was now hoping the salesman wouldn’t show up so I could just cancel the purchase… I also wondered if violence was the answer if or when the delivery guy got there, but they seemed to use a 3rd party delivery service. The items did arrive, and sure enough, the shirt fit, little short on the sleeves but the torso was long enough. I usually roll the sleeves anyway so it was a practical shirt and I paid about $90cad for it. I essentially got scammed into paying western prices for things. Later in my trip I found the tie set I had bought for $40 for about $5 at a night market… I got got, no doubt, but not for much, and its sure a funny story now. I still laugh at the idea of an elaborate four man setup just to rope me into paying $180. At this point I was more or less done with Bangkok.

The Heat Train

Natalie had reached out to me and suggested I meet her in Chiang Mai, in the north, to do the Mae Hong Son Loop with some travelers she had met there. When I first planned my trip to Nepal, I considered trying to get into India as well for some kind of train trip. The idea interested me but I just couldn’t make it work. So I was excited to get my chance at train travel. For this trip I had booked the train online, the website was in Thai and I used google translate, making sure to book a carriage “With Air”… Before departing I loaded up on various drinks and snacks from the local 7/11 and hoped for the best. I boarded in the early afternoon, I quickly learned that a car “with air” was not the same as one with air conditioning. In my seat, looking out the window I saw that it was bolted shut. The small ceiling fan did its best, but it was over 40 degrees outside. The landscape was beautiful, but it was sweltering in the car.

Old structures everywhere.

Initially the train was rather full and there was an American couple that staff had to walk back to their seats several times. They seemed to have trouble with the idea of assigned seating and eventually settled for leaving their bags unattended while wandering to seats they liked more. Over time, the train made stops and people got off. They were the lucky ones, to escape that sweltering heat. Around sunset, a well dressed man with white gloves came through and converted my seat, and the one facing it, into a bunk. Similar to a dining table in an RV being converted into a bed. He also put on a clean sheets, a pillow and a top sheet to be used as a blanket… in case I got cold. The bed was a little wider than me and a bit shorter, it had a fabric curtain I could close for privacy, but that blocked airflow. I tried to sleep but it was simply too hot.

Buddha statues everywhere.

Around midnight, I ran out of beverages. What little sleep I did get had bizarre fever dreams, I had dreams that my ex was texting me, when I came to, I checked my phone and couldn’t find them. When was the last time you saw a cellphone in a dream? Sweaty and confused and more than a little dehydrated.

I was leaning against the headboard during this photo.

The train arrived an hour and a half late, which was confusing to me, I can’t imagine it got lost or stuck in traffic. I stepped off the train into that, comparatively, cool 5am air and decided I wanted to walk. Prior to leaving Bangkok, I had asked Natalie to book me a bed at her hostel, she said she would, late in the night she had texted and told me she was not able to, “but it would be fine”. I was anxious about that, but it was morning now and there was nothing to do but head to her hostel and go from there. I talked to my dad on the phone while walking. When I passed an open McDonalds restaurant I hung up on him… I ordered a breakfast sandwich, a water, an orange juice, and an Iced tea. I took my time getting it all in, and felt thoroughly nauseous, I think I had mild heat stroke. My head felt foggy, I was weak, and my stomach was rather upset. Throwing some anti diarrhea meds down, I proceeded toward Natalie’s hostel. I arrived around 8am and sat in the waiting area reading my book until 10 am when she got up. I was rather annoyed by that, she knew when my train was coming in, I didn’t expect her to meet me at the station, but waking up at a more reasonable time just seems considerate. Mentioning it seemed like a bad idea, I correctly assumed my irritability was the dehydration and exhaustion. We walked together to a hostel our other would-be travel companions were staying at. It had proper AC and I got a private room with a small bed, but couldn’t check in until the evening. I put my bag in storage and went for a shower. The shower area had no AC and I struggled to peel off my sweat-soaked clothes. After the shower, I was still sweating so much I struggled to dry myself.  I was then introduced to William and Courtney, our travel companions for the trip. Even now I am not sure how Natalie found them, but I am glad she did. William was a Swedish man who had been living and working in Australia, throughout the trip I would find he was immune to stress or worry. I found myself envious of that. Courtney was from Chicago and was very sweet, her and I were very different politically and yet I still enjoyed all of my time with her. Of our group, I had the most motorcycle experience, which was minimal. I had my International Drivers Permit and a motorcycle license, Natalie and Courtney both had regular driver’s licenses, and William had nothing. I was far and away the most experienced on two wheels with my total of about 4 days of riding. I was immediately worried, but no one else was. 

Night Market in Chiang Mai.

Technical

There’s not much technical here beyond maybe read the guide book or google common scams in the country you are visiting otherwise you may end up with a funny story. Furthermore, always try to get clarity and never make assumptions about AC, beyond assuming it won’t be working. In south america I learned to ask “does the bus have AC? does it work? will it be turned on?” because sometimes the answer to those questions is no all the same.

Overheated, dehydrated, and delirious on that train, in my opinion, was probably the most dangerous part of this trip. I brought a lot to drink and I shudder to think what would have happened had I been less prepared. I’m also a little sad that my first and only real train ride experience was so terribly uncomfortable, I had been romanticizing the idea for years.


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